Laptop Television Mom

Dixie is back to share her recap of the girls’ performance Wednesday night!  Tune in tonight to see if her predictions are correct.

DIXIE SAYS: Since when did not being able to carry a tune
become known as picking the wrong song? Come on Randy, let’s really keep it REAL:
The reason most of the girls sound horrible on the slower, lower verses is
because they purposely begin their songs too low, below the capacity of their
lower register.  Okay- why would they do this? Because they want the sweet
spot, the notes at the end of the song, to be well within their range so that
they can belt them out! The higher they start, the higher they have to go and
no one wants to squeak and squawk the ending glory note!   

This is bad technique, not bad song choices!
Solution: they need to learn how to sing a simple melody that is well within
the limits of their lower register… and then train with a vocal coach on how to
expand their range and control those upper register notes.

In the meantime, here are my reviews:

1. Carly Smithson “Crazy On You”
Hey, I think I’m actually starting to like this girl! Maybe it was the
Heart song choice. Maybe it was the new hair style and much more flattering
side part. Or maybe it was her love of cleaning or perhaps I’m finally being
drawn in by her lovely Irish accent.  Most of her icky habits from last
week (breathiness, belchy low notes, screechy glory notes) didn’t show up tonight
and for the most part, her vocals were spot on and professionally
polished.  She slightly got off track near the end and had a couple of
missed notes, and the overly strained facial expressions are unbearable, but
overall, it was leaps and bounds better than last week.  I am now a
believer in her potential.  My favorite of the night, by far.

2. Syesha
Mercado “Me and Mr. Jones”

LOVE this song and see
nothing wrong with a female singing it to Mr. Jones, Simon. This performance is
a perfect example of my opening statement about starting too low in an effort
to be in the right place for the glory notes. She seemed extremely
uncomfortable singing so far out of her bottom range and then in the end, her
last note was dangerously sharp anyway!! However, I will try not to complain
when she screeches for the rest of the season because all three judges pretty
much told her to go back to her wailing. Syesha definitely had a few fabulous
moments, so I believe she is more than capable with the right training. 

3. Brooke White “You’re So Vain”

Brooke might want to consider spending less time
thinking about what she could do with other people’s hair, and more time
thinking about her own. But yes, it looked MUCH better tonight. After AI,
Brooke and her John Mayer look-a-like hubby should host a Kid’s Show. Can’t you
see them singing folk nursery rhymes, surrounded by several little toe headed
children? Brooke is SO Carly Simon and how ironic that she was singing a Carly
SIMON song to SIMON!! Her singing during the verses was about as close to
perfect as you can get; she lost it a little during the chorus, even sounded
like she was “talking” the words at one point. This one is definitely a keeper!
My second favorite of the night.

4. Ramiele Malubay  “Don’t Leave Me This Way”

Yet another example of
my opening statement. I won’t repeat the whole rant, but in addition to
starting too low, this performance just never got off the ground. The vocals
were “okay” but she was obviously disconnected and I was bored.  Her intro
video about the dancing was so cute, and then she chooses a disco song… and
stands there.  Up until now, I’ve loved her sense of style, but girl,
those pants were not working for you! Acid washed jeans on females under 5’3” =
stumps for legs.   

5. Kristy Lee Cook
“You’re No Good”

This song was dedicated
to one of the horses she couldn’t sell to fund her Idol audition. In her video,
she told us that she is an athletic tomboy who likes sports and athletics.
Redundant much? Last week, it was the weird eye thing- this week it was the
distracting singing stance. It looked like she was pretending to ride a horse.
In fact, I was so distracted by it, I had to go back and listen to the vocals
without looking at the television.  And like most of her fellow contestants,
there were lower register problems.  I had to laugh when Randy told her
that she was pretty on key!  Very unmemorable, so she could be in danger.

6. Amanda
Overmyer “Carry On My Wayward Son”

Amanda!!! That was
absolutely horrible… a pitchy nightmare from Hades!  She was too low, off
kilter, off key, and sounded just plain ugly… not unlike the Cruella Deville
hair.  But like the lyrics said, there was peace when she was done.
If I were her, I would head to the local bookstore and buy some reading material
for that long plane ride back to Indiana.
Bye-bye!! 

7. Alaina Whitaker
“Hopelessly Devoted To You”

Who would have guessed
that Alaina’s fun fact is that she needs a shrink.  Visually, she reminded
me of a bigger, rougher Carrie Underwood the day after the prom… oh, in
1987.  Vocally, she was pitchy and those opening notes weren’t straight
out of a high school talent show circa 1978. What made this more tragic for me
is that she was so fabulous last week. Hopefully, she’ll get another week to
redeem herself.

8. Alexandréa Lushington
“If You Leave Me Now”

Yawn!! When is this
night going to be over? For the first time tonight, I really do believe the
problem was a bad song choice. Despite the clever arraignment, it was boring
and old-fashioned, and she is not a boring girl!  Her vocals were okay and
she demonstrated a nice range, but as Simon rightfully pointed out, it’s just a
dated tune! The most exciting thing about the performance was the audience’s
rhythmic arm waving.  She’ll be better next week.

9. Kady Malloy
  “Magic Man”

Jason Castro’s pot
smoking buddy, for sure. Tell me she didn’t look (and sound) half-baked! Kady
abused her lower register something fierce, to the point that I was embarrassed
to listen to her. In my opinion, she sounded just as bad, if not worse than
Amanda.  The finish was a little better, but not enough to save her.
She may have many hidden talents (mimicry, acting, opera), but unfortunately,
singing is not one of them.  If she doesn’t get the boot, people are
voting for reasons other than vocals. 

10. Asia’h Epperson   “All By Myself”

Prime
example of my opening statement! As smart as her song choice/arrangement was
last week, it’s never smart to choose the Celine route on this song unless you
have a range the width of say… Whitney Houston’s! I love this little girl,
despite the fact that she thought we would be surprised to know she was a
cheerleader.  I’d be surprised if she wasn’t! Not sure why they gave her
the pimp spot unless the rehearsal went a heckuva lot better. Goodish vocals,
okay performance, but she was missing something.  Let’s hope that next
week, she brings back the “I’m Going Down” WOW.

If there is
any justice in the AI world, Amanda and Kady will be leaving on Thursday
night. 

American Idol is back and juicy as ever!  I watch the show religiously, and savor each "pitchy" moment, Dawg.  Each year, I make plans to provide a weekly recap on LTV, and then I was introduced to Dixie who (hands down) writes the best show recaps.  So, I am proud to introduce Dixie as a regular guest-blogger on Laptop Television!

Let’s get this party started; here is Dixie’s recap and predictions for the top 24:

DIXIE SAYS: “They” keep saying that
American Idol 7 is the most talented group thus far. Maybe if they say it
enough, we’ll believe it.  According to my ears, not a single one of the
twenty four was absolutely outstandingly perfect… most were far from it.  A
couple of the guys came close.

So the contestants are
forced to sing hippy songs from the sixties and then they must choose from a
limited list of only 50 songs. Two bad ideas rolled into one equals a boring season
kick off with duplicated songs. What happened to singing whatever they wanted
to sing for the first few weeks?

The Guys

To keep in line with the
Hippy Song Theme, I believe the guys were doing bong hits in the red room. At
least a handful of them were squinty-eyed, grinning madly, and could barely do
more than giggle uncontrollably at everything Ryan said to them after their
performances. And it would explain why some of them sucked.   

In the spirit of
Paula, I will also rate the guys’ performances by color. 

David Hernandez "In the Midnight Hour" – Ah, poor David in the worst spot.
I actually agreed with Simon on this one: great beginning, messy middle, bad
ending. I still like him and the smoothness of his voice, so hopefully he’ll
lose his nervousness and move to the next round. (Light
Green)

Chikezie Eze "More Today Than Yesterday" – Because Chikezie’s audition was so
soulful, this performance was a total let down. The only thing memorable was
his orange suit and shoes, even if he did look like a pimped out Gary Coleman.
It started off terrible, got a little better, but never took off. I did
notice that he is considerably thinner than when he auditioned- way to go! (Orange)

David Cook "Happy
Together" –
Great version of a song that I actually kind of hate. I really liked his
vocals, especially the slight growl. He’s very talented and can probably sing
anything. (Sea Green)

Jason Yeager "Moon River" – Okay, the first of the Mute 4
isn’t even trying. Decent vocal but poor, safe, sentimental song choice that
only a grandmother would recognize. And is grandma picking up the phone to
vote? Paula said “Staying on track is difficult” but she meant “Staying awake
is difficult.” Jason is going home on Thursday, which is too bad because he
seems like an incredibly nice guy. (Tan)

Robbie Carrico
"One" –
Axl Rose called. He wants his outfit back. Very confident on the stage, but the
song choice seemed odd at first. It took me a few seconds to get into it, but
by the end, I really liked it! For the record, he’s not a poser… I know someone
who knows him (he’s from Melbourne, FL) and he’s rock and roll all the way, dude. Would
love to see what he looked and sounded like when he was in the boy band opening
up for Britany Spears- I just don’t see him as the Justin Timberlake type. (Turquoise)

David Archuleta "Shop Around" –
Not my idea of an American Idol, but he’s very cute and sweet and sings very
well. He reminds me of the really amazing kid in the high school talent show.
Unfortunately he started this song too low and was forced into that scary lower
register that he’s not ready for. His breathing problems were more pronounced
during this song. His speaking voice is very congested, so perhaps he is sick,
like some of the girls. This kid has nothing to worry about- he’s a shoe in. (Sky Blue)

Danny Noriega "Jailhouse Rock" –
Another singer I want to root for and another disappointment. The
Sanjayafication has begun (see www.votefortheworst.com)
His voice has a beautiful tone, and he’s so much fun, but this was just stupid.
Loved the side sassy neck roll- he definitely knows how to bring the sass, but
he’s gotta stop pouting before I reach through the TV and smack him. (Hot Pink)

Luke Menard "Everybody’s Talkin” –
It was like he was in a parallel universe. Doesn’t every one know by now that a
slow song the first week means Death Wish? He may have a great voice in real
life, but this performance was sharp, flat, off key, too low, too high, too
boring! Farewell, Patrick Hall…oh, I mean Luke Menard. If he manages to stick
around for another week, it may be based on the harshness of the judges’
comments. (Beige) (his color is beige is you can’t read it)

Colton Berry "Suspicious Minds"
– Now that’s how to not overdo Elvis! I wasn’t expecting much from this kid and
he surprised me.  Plus his intro video was so charming. And look how much
better he looks with a little time in hair and makeup. No more dark eye circles
or bleached hair! I have a feeling that Colton and Danny are buds. (Teal)

Garrett Haley "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" – What the
heck is this person doing in the Top 24? He’s the guy who loses to David
Archuleta in the high school talent show. Garrett seems like such a cool,
likeable kid… just kind of clueless. Hey, Luke may be safe after all. Simon’s
comments were over the top rude… I felt awful for him having to stand up there
and hear comments about his appearance. (Brown)

Jason Castro
"Daydream"
– Didn’t the guitar and the dreads and the song choice just scream “open mic night
at the coffee house”? Tell me this guy wasn’t stoned. That being said, I
actually enjoyed it and it made me smile. What a pleasant surprise! Jason will
have to work hard to help me overcome my irrational hatred of hippies, but at
least he’s a clean and tidy hippy. Based on the judges’ reactions, he’ll be
sticking around. (Lemon Yellow)

Michael Johns "Light My Fire" –
Another irrational hatred- this time directed at The Doors. I wanted to set
Michael Johns on fire like a good old fashioned witch burning. Oh- I’m just
kidding… I hate to say it because I think this guy is a jerk, but he was great.
Not perfect, but great! The judges’ refusal to criticize certain contestants
just turns me off. (Fire Engine Red)

The Girls

Speaking of colors, color
me under whelmed. So many look-alikes. Lots of screaming. Lots of dull. Tiny
flashes of remarkable.

Kristy Lee Cook "Rescue Me" – She
needs to never, ever do that thing with her eyes ever again. Frankly, I found
it terrifying. Besides being dreadfully boring, Carrie, I mean Kristy, has a
problem with the ending of words. Each one ended with an exhale. Baby-eh.
Lonely-eh. Rescue me-eh. Maybe it’s a country thing. Or maybe its that her
voice is just too thin and weak to carry each note to the end. If she sticks
around another week, we’ll see how she sounds when she isn’t sick.

Joanne Borgella "I Say a Little
Prayer"- All of a sudden Kristy didn’t seem so bad. This was horrible!
And its probably not a good idea to prove you’re not a big, belty diva by singing
something that’s supposed to be big, belty and diva’d. On the plus side, she
looks great! Its obvious that her days as a plus size model taught her exactly
how to dress for her body type. Beauty comes in ALL shapes and sizes!

Alaina Whitaker "More Today than
Yesterday" – Significantly better than Chekezie’s performance last
night, but that couldn’t have been hard to do. Alania came out with
guns-a-blazin’! Her performance had good energy, some really nice big notes,
and a decent lower register for a 17 year old girl! She got the dawg pound up
and swaying, but the best part was Garrett clapping off the beat. Enjoy
yourself, Garrett.

Amanda Overmyer "Baby Please Don’t Go"
– Oh No. Scatting. Rarely a good choice. This was weird, but me thinks in a
good way.  She’s so completely different than anything else we’ve seen
that I don’t totally mind if she sticks around for awhile.  Not my kind of
singer, but I do like her chilled, Lita Ford attitude, and her arms. I do not
like her skunk hair. Rock on Nurse Amanda!!

Amy Davis "Where the Boys Are"
– What a beautiful girl! Her eye makeup and hair style looked heavenly.
Oh the singing? Mmmm… it should have been called “Where the Notes Are”
because she certainly wasn’t finding them. I spent her entire performance
admiring how pretty she looked, trying to figure out how they did her hair,
and yelling “Find the key, Amy!!”  At the end, she literally hung
her head in defeat. No doubt its bye-bye, but there’s always America’s Next Top Model.

Brooke White "Happy Together" –
Didn’t like it as much as David Cook’s version, but for a song that I kind of
hate, I actually liked it. Brooke’s voice has a pretty tone, but I think she
could have made it richer and more memorable. Her hair definitely looks
healthier. Gel and scrunch, girl. As far as niceness, Brooke is this year’s
Melinda Doolittle. Could someone throw her hamburger or a couple of hot dogs…
that’s what I would call painfully thin.

Alexandréa Lushington "Spinning Wheel" –
I love her last name! Its obvious that a lot of thought and creative energy
went into this very ‘watchable’ performance. She made a forty year old song
sound current and she looked funky fresh doing it! Although by no means a
perfect vocal, Alexandréa’s performance made it easy to forgive the mishaps.
Her voice is super clean without being uninteresting. She reminds me of Mary J.
Blige and Anita Baker in that they may not be gifted with a ‘stunner of a
voice’, but they know their way around their own limitations. I believe this 17
year old girl is one to watch!

Kady Malloy "Groovy Kind of Love"
– Why is Simon being so incredibly mean? A pencil could imitate her? Geez…
First of all, since when did Phil Collins become a 60’s recording artist? Is
this perhaps a remake that I’m not aware of? Secondly, this was extremely
bland.  The most interesting thing about her performance was her
impeccably groomed eyebrows. Decent voice, but she’s gotta get with the program
if she plans on making it to the Top 12.  I have a feeling that she’s
going to bring it next week. I also have the feeling that she isn’t exactly the
nicest girl in the bunch.

Asia’h Epperson "Piece of My Heart"
– Oh, so Amanda didn’t do Joplin because Asia’h had already taken the JJ song- NOW I get it.  Smart decision to turn her performance into a Memphis soul number, which isn’t a thousand
degrees from JJ’s version, but veers far enough that she avoids the
impersonation charge.  Best pure vocal of the night according to my ears!
The fact that I love her personality is an added bonus. Hooray for Asia’h!

Ramiele Malubay
"You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me" – Definitely one of my favorites
of the night. What was amazing was how great Ramiele sang more subdued verses,
especially since most contestants on this show just bide their time until they
can belt.  Her performance was understated and very professional. Although
I wasn’t a fan of her audition, I think Ramele may grow on me.

Syesha Mercado "Tobacco Road" –
Despite some bum, shouty notes, Syesha’s great big voice tore through this song
with ease! I didn’t really like her until she
lost her voice and had to write notes… then she became interesting to me! She’s
definitely a power belter, so hopefully she can rein in those big pipes and
deliver some quality vocals. The jury is still out on this one.

Carly Smithson "Shadow of Your Smile"
- Hey, look who got the pimp spot! Duh, right? I knew they were going to come
clean with her professional recording past, although from what I’ve heard, that
isn’t ‘exactly’ how it went down. I heard they pumped two million into her and
it didn’t pan out, but that could not be the truth either. For years now, I
haven’t really figured out what I think about Carly. Its obvious that American
Idol LOVES her. She can hit some beautiful notes, but she has all the habits
that I absolutely abhor in a female voice: lots of breathiness in between
lines, belchy low notes, screechy diva glory notes, overly strained facial
gestures like it takes too much work to hit the notes.

Who is going home?

My best guess would be
Jason Yeager and Garrett Haley for the guys and Joanne Borgella and Amy Davis
for the girls.   I guess it could be Luke Menard- definitely Jason,
Garrett, and Luke in the bottom three.