Laptop Television Mom

Dixie, our favorite guest blogger this American Idol season, provides another great recap of last night’s show.

DIXIE SAYS:  We
barely know these guys and they are already throwing the “What People Would Be
Surprised to Know about Me” at us?  We know nothing about them, so
everything is pretty much a surprise.  Silly producers!  As a product
of the 70’s, I must say I thoroughly enjoyed Tuesday night’s performances and
variety in song selection.  WAY more entertaining than last week’s Hippy
Tune Snoozefest and WAY more engaging than anything they threw at us last
season (The Year of the Bark). 

1. Michael Johns “Go Your Own Way”

I
did not see a ‘tennis player’ inside this dirty old rocker! Michael Johns is
obviously more dimensional than the peg I forced upon him.  Although he
struggled with some of the high notes, Michael’s voice had a pleasant tone and
his unique phrasing was rather good.  What isn’t good is his dancing. When
you are the whitest white (boy) who’s ever whited, its probably best not to
move around too much.  Just stand there brooding like a drug sick, dirty
old rocker. And unless you plan on hitting the gym ASAP, cover up those wimpy
white biceps. Icky.   

2. Jason Castro “I Just Want To Be Your
Everything”

Ahhhhh…..
Andy Gibb! Didn’t you just love The Bee Gee’s little brother? Minus the fact
that Jason let the background singers carry all of the notes that are out of
his range, including the FIRST note of the chorus, I kind of liked this
performance. His demeanor is so unpretentious and down-to-earth that I can
almost forgive the less-than-perfect vocals.   His pre-performance
clip was quite silly, but I’d expect nothing less from someone who probably
smoked a big fat one prior to the taping.  Not kidding.  Here is my
biggest criticism: Jason Castro: Guitar.  Blake Lewis: Beat boxing.
If he doesn’t drop it right now and focus primarily on his vocals, he’ll have a
hard time shaking the prop (i.e. crutch) and run the risk of being tagged a One
Trick Pony.

3. Luke Menard “Killer Queen”

A capella?
Whatever, dude.  He is SOOO that guy! You know, the one who has absolutely
no clue of how ridiculous and boring he truly is! I’m not sure what I loathe
more- his singing or his extremely pretentious personality, or lack
thereof.  How self-serving was it for him to go on and on about his group
and how he has to be perfect and not miss a note? Then why did he miss so many
notes last week if he’s so dang wonderful? Let’s just hope that Dawson makes the agitated face on Thursday
night.

4. Robbie Carrico “Hot Blooded”

As much as I
try to fight it, I actually like Robbie.  He has coolness and ease about
him and seems completely natural to me.  He’s very unassuming and I really
wish the judges would stop hounding him about authenticity.  There ARE different types of rockers and
perhaps Robbie is of the Rob Thomas variety.  Even though this was a
consistent performance and he hit all the notes perfectly, he does need to push
his voice a bit more, especially on a Foreigner favorite such as this!  I
have no doubt that he is capable. Unfortunately, I feel that TPTB have already
crowned David Cook as their Top 12 Rocker, so it may be a mute point. 

5. Danny Noriega “Superstar”

Danny, the
fact that you were in a punk rock band isn’t surprising in the least bit. If
you were the Babydaddy of the girl in the band, then THAT would have been
surprising… and shocking! Not sure what happened to the remaining gay Elvis
between Hollywood Week and now, but he is starting to bore. Ruben Studdard’s
Season Two rendition of “Superstar” was so soulful and moving. Perhaps he
should have gone with the Luther Vandross rendition rather than The Carpenters.
Danny isn’t quite Sanjaya, but his vocals are such a disappointment thus
far.

6. David Hernandez “Papa Was A Rolling Stone”

Hands down,
my absolute favorite of the night! That was a textbook example of what they
mean by ‘in the pocket”. David couldn’t have been more SPOT ON- great energy from the word go
and a fantastic vocal with a beautiful tone that suited the song! More
importantly, he delivered a perfectly measured performance, resisting the
temptation to overload the glory notes or add unnecessary roughness to signify
‘soul’. I knew he could and WOULD bring it this week! Hurrah for Hernandez!

7. Jason Yeager “Long Train Running”

One thing
we don’t know about Jason Yeager is that he plays a lot of instruments.
Another thing we don’t know about Jason Yeager is that when he was eighteen
years old, he impregnated a fourteen-year-old girl… allegedly. Putting aside
the fact that I’m amazed he is still around after “Moon River”, I have to agree with Randy on
this one.  If Miss Lucy “lost her home and her family and won’t be coming
back”, that’s not good news, Jason! There was too much of a happy,
inappropriate edge and he seemed uncomfortable right out of the gate.
This song just isn’t something a contestant should sing if he is trying to
prove that he can interpret songs differently and uniquely.  Again, he
seems like such a nice guy, but so do most of those guys on Dateline,
right? After those heartless, callous comments from Simon, I think Jason will
find comfort in that long train ride home.

8. Chikezie Eze “I Believe To My Soul”

Okay, I’m
not losing my mind. The Chikezie I adored during the auditions wasn’t a figment
of my imagination. Thank you, Chikezie for choosing an ever-so-appropriate
Donny Hathaway/Elliott Yamin song! Love, Love, Loved it! Impressive performance
and entertaining animation! With the exception of two or three bum notes, it
was a beautiful vocal with a nice, big-booming, soul-pleasing tone. Last week,
he was Gary Coleman. This week he was Carlton Banks. Fingers crossed, he’ll get
to show off a third look next week.  My second favorite of the evening.
 

9. David Cook “All Right Now”

Simon
OBVIOUSLY doesn’t know much about women because the Word Nerd stuff is
extremely attractive! His vocabulary is something to be appreciated! I really
like this guy, and despite his uncomfortable exchange with Simon, I don’t think
he has an attitude problem. His voice sounds like Chris Daughtry’s voice, but
more refined. He could have (and should have!) added more runs and trills and
vocal acrobatics, so for now, I’ll just keep waiting for them.  His
electric guitar skills were pretty impressive, but like Jason Castro, he needs
to focus on his vocals first and foremost. 

 10.
David Archuleta  “Imagine”

Oh, the pimping of this kid is disgusting! Little David has
a nice voice and his tone is pure, but one of the best vocals EVAH to grace the
AI stage? Come on people- that is INSANE! Performance wise, the dewy-eyed
“Imagine” crap doesn’t work on me…its not a song of hope, more like an anthem
for Carl Marx’ brand of socialism.  This was a zillion times better (and
more earnest) than Blake Lewis’ version, but the performance seemed to go on
for one thousand years… that would be 1,000 years of kittens and rainbows and
glory notes and labored mouth breathing (really hate that part!) and the
audience losing its collective mind. Then, to top it off, Randy asks David why
he skipped the first verse, as if he doesn’t know. The first verse has the word
‘Hell’ in it and y’all can’t have your up and coming teen idol swearing and
talking about religion.  Loved the Kelly Clarkston clip!!

If Luke Menard and/or Jason
Yeager are still standing after Thursday night, I’ll be very surprised… and
mortified! Let’s clear our eardrums and prepare for the Ladies…