Perfect mom... until I had a child.
I recently started re-posting some of my favorite articles I wrote for the Silicon Valley Moms Blog over the past years. This one seemed to hit a nerve, and it’s the post closest to my heart. Please enjoy:
Before I became a mom, long before I was pregnant, I knew exactly how I was going to parent. My husband and I would watch other parents, sometimes in wonder and often times in horror. We would discuss what we saw and how we would handle kids when it was our turn to parent.
Luckily, we were on the same page (most of the time) about how we wanted to raise our family. Of course, we also knew we had no idea what we were talking about and would end our conversations in jest saying “it’s a good thing we are such perfect parents” even though we had no kids. (Even then, we kept our sense of humor!)
Flash-forward to today, and our baby is a sassy and beautiful five-year-old girl. Even after five years, we have have finally come to the conclusion that we have *no idea* what we are doing. My husband and I still laugh when we recall how weknew exactly how we were going to behave when we had a kid, and then we look at our reality:
Then: Why do people bring a screaming baby to a restaurant? I am trying to enjoy a meal with my husband. Now: Oh man, I wish I could help that poor mom and rock that baby so mom can try to eat two bites of food.
Then: I am absolutely going to spank my kid when she is naughty. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Now: I could never hit my child in anger, it would break my heart and her spirit.
Then: I cannot believe that mother would let her daughter go out in public wearing that outfit! Now: My daughter is so proud when she dresses herself, and I think she looks beautiful in her pink tutu, sparkly shoes, glittery headband and Princess sunglasses!
Then: I will never use the television as a babysitter! Now: Sigh, I just need 30 minutes to make dinner. Exactly how long is an episode of iCarly?
Then: Ugh, I hate flying coast-to-coast when little kids are on the plane. Why can’t get the parents stop their kid from kicking the back of my seat? Now: Oh, that poor dad looks exhausted. Should I offer to play with that kid for 15 minutes, so he can eat his lunch?
Then: I can’t believe some parents let their kid’s toys take over their house! It’s a home, not a Toys-R-Us. Now: I have toys in every room of my house. Silicon Valley home = no basement = no storage. Oh well, she’s only a kid once (and she is admittedly spoiled and has way too many toys.)
Then: I am shocked by how that mother just spoke to her child! I would never use that tone of voice with my kid. Now: I wonder if that mom is having a really bad day, I hope something terrible didn’t happen. Or maybe she is just exhausted and is heading home to a pile of dirty laundry and an empty refrigerator.
Then: I am going to practice tough-love at bed-time, and my kid will learn to go to sleep by herself. Now: My kids needs to get her sleep before school tomorrow, and I will do whatever it takes. Plus, she is so pretty when she sleeps, and I know one day she will be horrified if I want to cuddle with her at bedtime.
At the end of the day, parenthood made me more understanding and empathetic toward other parents. It’s amazing how I anticipated what I would do as a parent, only to be overwhelmed (and overjoyed) by the reality of it all. I try not to judge or second-guess other parents, rather I try to remember that we are all in the same boat, just trying to raise good kids while keeping our sanity.
– LTV Mom
Photo Credit: Microsoft Clip Art
Just trying to squeeze in some television between mothering, working and crashing.
I love, love, love this!
i love this too! especially the wanting to help the mom on the plane (or at the store, etc.)
This parenting gig is a lot tougher than I ever thought it would be!